THE PATRIOT

VIGILANTES

In my management course we learned different ways civil society can ensure government accountability in the developing world. Two such ways are:

1.     Naming and shaming

2.     Collaboration and working towards common goals

Of course by the nature of these two types, a civil person would have the propensity towards the more positive approach, however approach #2 isn’t always the most effective. Maybe a more appropriate way to say it is that those who use method 1 have most likely tried method 2 and it proved impotent. Recently I sat in a home with my Uncle and a new friend and we discussed this very issue of keeping Nigerian politicians accountable. He is what I call a controversial vigilante who borderlines blackmailing politicians via social media and pressuring them to do their jobs. His ways have been impacting, particularly on the state government level, and I walked away pondering a thought, which I want to discuss here. 

Which approach will I, Frances, who believes in shaking up the status quo and developing people and systems, adopt as a lifestyle?! Do I just pick one or is it legal to alternate?

In a society like Nigeria where corruption came in with 7 of its strongest men, secured expansive land, then built a very large estate because it wants to put down roots for generations to come, the easier and perhaps more piercing solution is to vilify a government official who embezzles public funds. (insert here- The scene in ‘The Patriot’ where Mel Gibson’s character is referred to as ‘the ghost’ when he fights the Brits and after killing a soldier, he hacks him to pieces). Why? Because they killed his second son. Does the end justify the means? Does this approach fall under naming and shaming? I think it goes beyond. My friend’s initial approach falls under a third category- hacking out the wickedness in people. I really don’t mean to be vile, forgive me, it’s just that there are officials who exert their best efforts in managing a perplexing society and then there are those who are wicked and have consideration for only them. Both kinds of governance exist in every country and I don't know what it takes to root out evil in men and women who rule. The more stories we hear of people looting money, contracts and projects executed without proper management and accountability mechanisms, the more I think Nigeria is like a bow legged teenager and while others have exerted much energy and resources trying to straighten her walk, she lacks the will herself, though the strength is ever present. Soon. Very soon she will walk straight. This will happen after she undergoes intensive surgery and physical therapy for sometime. The surgeons must find a way to fix her while still upholding her beautiful complexity. The surgeons are Nigerians themselves. 

 

Maybe what I’m saying here is that the dignity with which we respond to poor governance and poverty mindsets is the most crucial aspect to all this. 

My individual response matters.

Our collective response matters.

 

If I hear one more person say, ‘that’s just Nigeria for you’, I might throw ‘em bows. I pray we continue to be discontent with status quo, yet apply wisdom in when and how to drive change. I love the Sound of Music and Sister Act for many reasons, one of which is two unconventional women stepping into worlds of strict order and discipline, and their presence alone mess up every existing system. Everyone including the 'sisters' mature in the process and after the damage is done, the result is a conglomeration of accepted imperfections. We need Maria and Sister Mary Clarence in our worlds, otherwise we're left to vain imagination that results in nothingness.  

At the end of meeting my new friend, his brother said to me, ‘don’t deal sooo harshly with people, for a time will come when it’ll be your turn to govern’. Hard pill to swallow, yet a life saving tablet.

This land is such a beautiful enigma, and I’m grateful to have been born in this quagmire.

AND NOW FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE..THINGS YOU FIND IN NAIJA (local term for Nigeria(n))

PLEASE direct your eyes to the center. 140 years old?!?! Esta la verdad?!

life in boarding school

Celebrating Dad's 60th

Biafra rally. They want Nigeria to split and establish a new State.

Visiting my sister/friend at camp

I know my babies will be this adorable

Educating youth on child sexual abuse. Part of Blessing O Foundation initiative

Blessing O. Foundation Int'n

There is accepted that those who send their kids to school abroad have money and live very comfortably. This wasn’t the case with my parents. Years of sacrifice and financial constraint were familiar visitors that at times came to live with us for some time, as much as we resisted them. Amidst these visitors also lived the greatest hospitality I have experienced. Recently I was told that at one point in time and space, up to 15 people lived with us in our home in Festac, Lagos, Nigeria. As a child I remember aunties, cousins, uncles and people who weren’t related staying with us. To my earliest cognizance, my parents have always opened up their hearts and homes to whoever was in need. I always attributed this to being the way all Nigerians are until my grandmommy corrected me by saying, ‘it’s your parents’. After spending time with my mom’s sister and brother here in Nigeria, I’ve seen this attribute also in them. Maybe it runs in the blood? I certainly pray so.

the woman herself

When I went off to college and beyond and would visit home, I never knew who was living there and if I had a bed available because inevitably mom would have someone staying with us, be it my brother’s friends who were trying to put their lives back together or women coming out of addictive behaviors seeking rehabilitation. Mom continued the tradition even when dad moved back to Nigeria and from that place Blessing O. Foundation was birthed. What started out as a woman living her ordinary life in an extraordinary way has turned into an established Foundation that seeks to be part of making a society across Africa where orphans, widows, rescued prostitutes and the sexually abused receive a sense of hope, encouragement and support (emotionally, spiritually, academically, financially), empowering them to fulfill their purposes. We are gifted with a team of eight adventurous big dreamers, both in Nigeria and the U.S. and are currently doing work in Nigeria and Ghana, and looking to launch a resource center serving women and children in Delta state, Nigeria.

Some have asked what I do day to day for work here. Technically I work for a government branch, but my real work here is serving as the Director of my mother’s Foundation. I believe this is what I’m in Nigeria to do this year- to help her establish this Foundation, and I’m happy to say we are well on our way. I've just come home from a long hardworking day 2 of our widow's summit- gathering women to learn very feasible, sustainable trade for steady income.  We expected 50 women, and on the first day 75 eager beavers showed up. Day 2, word of mouth spread and we had more. At the end of the 3 days, the outstanding performers will receive sponsorships to begin their businesses. Our mummy who teaches the classes was able to send her daughter abroad for studies with this type of business. REMARKABLE! $100 alone can alter the trajectory of a widow's life. Consider being a part.

We are looking at undertaking subsequent training in the coming months & long term we want to expand beyond Nigeria and Ghana and execute some projects across east Africa.

Delta State widows summit- A skill acquisition workshop focused on vulnerable women acquiring trade for sustainable livelihood. The top 5 winners will receive sponsorship to start small-scale businesses and we set in place evaluation tools to track progress with the expectation of the women turning profit and growing their businesses.

Official inauguration of Blessing O. Foundation. With special guests of honor in attendance, we will commensurate the organization’s launch as we celebrate and hear testimonials of people who have benefited from the foundation while also raising funds for upcoming projects.

Like us on Facebook    

To learn more, please visit our website- bofint.org.

There is a blessing that comes with giving to widows and orphans. If you want to give, the website will direct you on how.

I tell people in the U.S. that right now a dollar goes a long way here, so sending something easily makes impact here on ground. Join us on this adventure. I’m certainly honored to serve under a woman with a great heart and one who constantly spends herself on behalf others. 

Here's a testament to the work we're doing on the ground. I couldn't say it better myself. Blessings!

God & Church Part 2

From the contrasting responses I received on my previous post on God & church between my Nigerian and non-Nigerian readers, I thought it befitting to write a part 2 to further clarify my words. When I said Nigeria is one of the most religious countries, I didn’t mean that to be positive, infact quite the contrary. To me, there is a grand canyon between religiosity and relationship with God. The latter, I posit, is much purer and just plain better.

My good friend, Dr Kingsley Udoh, a Nigerian doctor who resides in Seattle immediately responded to that post with this:

 “Yes, Nigeria is deeply religious, but that "religiousity" is flawed in many ways. Like you rightly said, a lot of it is driven by the dysfunctional laws, infrastructure, etc and also by need. The reason I said it is flawed is because if Nigerians were really deeply religious we would definitely have a better country if that religion was not just cloaked by going to church or the mosque, but if it translated to actions”. 

Kingsley, I’m picking up what you’re putting down.

Christina Amanpour (the venerable, candid CNN reporter) did a recent interview with a young woman who was raped by an ISIS member, reportedly an American. Before he’d rape her, he said his prayers. After the rape, he took a bath, and then continued in his devoted lifestyle of prayer. To me this is one of the ultimate delusions in life- to profess a name that has zero direct implication on your life and personal choices. Indeed a perverted way of life and this man will reap the rewards of a foolish man.

After Jesus ascended into Heaven, the disciples were called ‘Christians’ because this was the only logical name to call people who exemplified the teachings of Christ. They took on his persona and practiced life like he did. His philosophy is one of intense, and many times offensive way of love. ‘Christians’ demean his name and personality when they indulge in certain behaviors, some for which Nigerians are notorious. What distinguishes the ISIS man who rapes and prays immediately before and after from one who says they love God and act in hate or dishonor towards man? Infact there’s a common understanding that if you speak and act contradictorily, you only deceive yourself.

This same delusion permeates many Nigerians who call themselves Christians. Just one example- adultery is disturbingly normative practice here as married men and women chase more robust younger people to satisfy them. They tell me 98% of married men I see walking around have extramarital affairs. I so desperately want to believe this percentage is inverted, but stories upon stories underscore this absurdity. Same men who profess Christ will leave the church building and within a split second, lustfully eye another woman, practically undressing her in his mind. What rubbish! The worst part of all this is that there are no societal repercussions for such behavior. On the contrary people BOAST of such actions and the bigger of a man you are, the more likely it is that you’ll engage in this ostentatious display of manhood. Like my good friend, The Larry said- 'churches talk about God and grace and salvation.. people need to know truth about sex, money, business'. I would add that the character of a person is reflective of their core beliefs and values. A bad tree cannot yield good fruit. It is like a white washed tomb- strong stench on the inside, yet ostentatious display of religiosity on the outside. Someone PLEASE talk about how adultery, cursing your neighbor, shouting at people, abusing children and widows, insulting the passerby, promiscuity, insatiable desire for sex and instant gratification is un-Christ like. Talk about not living on the defensive (avoiding doing bad things), but proactively taking on the nature of Christ and that changing every way we think and act.

To pray, rape and then pray again is to ride on campaign promises of development, only to step into office and siphon the money. It is to tighten your fist when someone around you is in need, to beat a child mercilessly for the sake of saving face and reputation.I pray for the day when church goers (myself including) stop gossiping, are kind, give freely to all in need, wound a friend's ego by speaking truth rather than betraying or back stabbing. I pray that day is near. I pray it has come, because it must for the stakes in high in these days.

My thoughts on this page do not encapsulate the entirety of observations on the churches I see here and their ways of things. Maybe I’ll talk next on the content of messages/sermons in churches for that topic has a life of its own. I must also add that I’m forever grateful for the leadership I was privileged to be under in my church in the US, both in Waco TX and Seattle WA, and also for my home church here in Nigeria, Salvation Gospel Mision (SGM) Int'n. 

And now for lightness. The video below is one of a children's program at church. I am unbiased when I say the best dancer there is my baby cousin, the one in front right. That girl can move. For you Americans who like to learn new dance moves- here ya go, and most especially- good luck!

can't take the zoo out of the man

LEADERSHIP JUNCTURE

This morning I walked down to the local store and on my way back held a conversation with 3 Igbo young men all in their 20s. Igbos are the people who fought for a separate State called Biafra back in the late 60s. This civil war claimed the lives of over 3 million people, and in an attempt to move forward, Nigerians don’t really speak of it, except for some radical Biafrans who propagate independence on the Biafran radio.

2 of the guys started their own businesses (repairing gas cooker and a laundry service). I walk past them on a daily basis and at times no work, partly due to no electricity. They come early in the morning, sit and gist all day, and when night falls, they disperse to their various homes. When there’s money, they buy fuel and run the generator to operate their business. One didn’t attend school because of funds and as far as I know, there is no free education for higher education here. All 3 men ardently argued for the separation of state once again as the solution of better standard of living. This deliberation was intriguing and filled with both passion and despondency. One said Igbos needed to get out of this zoo (Nigeria) where animals are not well fed to make their own country and be free. I fired back saying that the same people who’d lead Biafra are the ones leading these Igbos states now, and unless they govern justly here and now, no silver bullet would do the trick, not even an independence of State. We went round and round trying to figure out a solution. One posited that we need young people in government, but after a while we agreed that even the youth would follow the same protocol as their fathers- one of siphoning money. The exact phrase was, ‘if you’re offered sugar, you’d take it because it’s sweet, it’s sweet well well’, meaning once you enter the system as is, you’re doomed to be contaminated because the temptations are stronger than your holy convictions.

There’s a saying that no good men last long in politics. Perhaps this is true of every country out there. They resign, are kicked out or worst- they change. This morning we bemoaned our fate until we realized that once you infiltrate the system with a critical mass of selfless people, the inevitable happens- the polluters are inversely affected by selfless people, subsequently causing change in the system. I’m not alone in my sentiment. African literature giant, Chinua Achebe wrote a book in the early 80s called, ‘The Trouble with Nigeria’. His conclusion is one many others share- the problem: leadership. The solution: bountiful selfless leaders.

I fully acknowledge that leaders aren't the only problem in this land. Even the 5 yr old is taught to cheat and lie to get what they want; to hustle. Get what you want 'anyhow'. We need people with a different orientation leading the government, leading a movement, ones who put national interest before practicing nepotism and stomach infrastructure, ones who come down from their self-aggrandized pedestals to engage with the everyday people in this country, they who get disturbed when they see and hear of abject poverty, ones who aren’t myopic in their mentalities nor insular in their ideologies. Is it really this simple? Trust me, I don’t confuse simplicity for feasibility and possibility, but can this really be all it’d take to change the trajectory of this nation and the surrounding ones to be a more burgeoning continent?

In my next post, I will do a part two of God & Church. I received some feedback which indicated to me that my American readers didn't quite understand what I was trying to say about 'religiosity' here. Relationship w God is very different from relationship with religion. Stay tuned.

God & Church

‘The louder your amen, the bigger your testimony.’ These are famous words spoken in church often, to which the congregation shouts aloud, ‘AMEN’! I’ve observed that when blessings for money and material possessions are released, the AMENs are loudest. Why is this? Probably many reasons, one of which is poverty. Tonight a dear friend said that people go to church because it's an environment where they hear positive stories, happy things happening which keeps them hopeful. People of all backgrounds and social class attend church here in Nigeria, whether it be protestant, catholic, anglican or others. Infact if you don’t go to church at the very least on Sundays, society degrades you. A gentleman co-worker sat me down to talk about a personal matter: to set me up with his brother. (Note- not my first, second or third experience with this). Before we discussed this issue, he shared with me about how God was the only dependable person in his life, aging back to his childhood. The sincerity in his voice affirmed the reality I see here- God’s hand in one’s life is axiomatic because when all amenities of life, the basic needs go unmet, ‘God dey’, meaning God is still there seeing you through and providing for you. This is one fundamental reason God is worshiped vivaciously here- because many times He has been people’s only hope. One stark contrast with the U.S. is how ‘God’ is in everything, from names of children to pharmaceutical stores to hair salons to cordial greetings. When you see a familiar face on the road, you ask, ‘how is the family?’ to which they respond, ‘we thank God’, a way to say they are well and we're thankful. If you enter a vehicle and make it to your destination, far or near, that's another reason to thank God. When you’re boarding a bus to travel, before the vehicle pulls out of the motor park, there’s a ‘pastor’ who comes inside, prays for your safety and the trip, and collects an offering. This practice is inevitable. Digression: I personally attribute the road prayer to the recklessness of drivers on these pot-holed full roads. Only here have I experienced someone driving against traffic, and when you block them because you're in the right of way, they get out of their cars and castigate you for blocking traffic. Naija life- it's real stuff. I, too, thank God.

Asaba, the capital of Delta State, my state of origin, reminds me of Waco, TX in that there are practically churches at every corner. On one street alone, you’re likely to find 3 churches, some of which are obscure that it’s only with magnifying eyes do you see them. Then again there are loud speakers outside so when you’re home, at your Aunty’s, or at the office, you hear people praising God or Kabeshing... word for ‘firing prayers’. Nigerians are prayer warriors. I’m convinced that if they could have super powers, it’d be to totally annihilate Satan and all his demons who make life hellish. With jokes aside, this is one characteristic I admire in our people and strive to obtain- the persevering spirit, endurance in being before God and communing with Him. Before I came back I knew I was stepping into a deeply religious world, really to the point where if you worship Him in a perfunctory manner, you will certainly be rebuked. If you’re praising him at church, you betta give him your best- in your dancing, financial offering, waving of hands and shouting 'Amen'. I must also say that the Nigerian churches I’ve experienced so far are greatly disciplined, from which the American church can learn.

On our way to church on a wedn evening. My cousin is one of the best dancers I've seen

I want to narrow in a bit on my church here by sharing the message of the ministry, Salvation Gospel Mission (SGM) Int'n. I've found great life and a paradigm shift in the message and care to pass it along, not only for my Christian readers, but for everyone to hear and digest accordingly.

Message- If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). When we were buried and raised with Christ, we became a new creation. This new creation, having the incorruptible seed of God inside (1 John 3:9), has Christ's DNA, so a transfer from earthly origin to spiritual took place, therefore innate problems from natural family are obsolete. That is to say if your parents were alcoholics, their genetics no longer determine your course. You are now part of the household of God, a member of the Trinity because you're one with Christ. There are certain traits you possess because you're of new birth and are unstoppable (mark 16:17-18). Christians have the life of Christ running inside them, yet are ignorant of what this means. If only we knew what we had, life would be altered. How do you practice these truths? It's simply a consciousness, being aware of who you are.

This message encapsulates a reality that can be provocative and offensive, however I felt compelled to write it because I believe it has power to revolutionize how people think of life with God. There is obviously so much more I can say on that, but will leave it there.

there they are- the real 'women'

On a lighter note, apparently to be considered a ‘woman’, one must have married and birthed children, or at least taken care of children. I discovered this reality when they passed a brochure to all the ‘women’ in church, and the usher deliberately skipped over me. Hahaha. Around here I’m considered a youth. NO problem! This youth lady here can and will probably forever remain youthful. Alleluia:)

I’ve promised some booty shaking videos, so below are some traditional attires and dances from the Women’s Week at church last month. I think I wore a grin the whole time while capturing these moments. These women were strutting with panache, I mean for realzz. This may explain me more, for those who've seen me break it down on the dance floor, although these women far surpass my abilities, especially in traditional dances.

Really enjoy reading your responses to these posts. keep 'em coming.

Enjoy!

Ladies in gold- Igbo tribe 

Blue- Of the Anioma tribe

Orange- Irobo people

Beaded attire- Edo